


Shame

by Ice_the_Irken



Series: JKM3 Dream Saga [6]
Category: Just Kill Me. (Video Games)
Genre: Crying, Dream Shenanigans, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD flash-backs, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers for DG4000, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29789415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ice_the_Irken/pseuds/Ice_the_Irken
Summary: You don't know what you did wrong.It started with his breathing picking up, and by the time you noticed enough to pause your sentence, he was full-on hyperventilating. Now here he was: curled up into a ball, shaking and sobbing.
Relationships: Demon God | Destroyer (Just Kill Me)&Reader
Series: JKM3 Dream Saga [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2120079
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Shame

You don't know what you did wrong.

You and DG were talking to each other in your dream! You were just talking! About general stuff! You don't know what you could have possibly said that could have set him off like this!

It started with his breathing picking up, and by the time you noticed enough to pause your sentence, he was full-on hyperventilating. Now here he was: curled up into a ball, shaking and sobbing. His lips were pursed together, and when you asked him what was wrong the first time, the only thing you got out of him was a whimper.

He turned his head away from you in an effort to hide his tears. He squeezed his eyes shut, squeezing out more tears that quickly streamed down his face and came to a gradual halt at his chin. Clinging to his skin, they slowed down there for a moment before continuing to stream down his neck.

He looked like a wreck.

He tried to inch away from you, but you were already kneeled by his side, your hands hovering just a few inches from his skin, instinctively wanting to hold him but not yet touching him.

It’s around that time that you start to notice the feeling that you’re waking up suddenly, like you’re being deliberately pushed back into consciousness. He’s trying to push you out.

"Don't you dare try and push me out!"

DG flinched at your shout, _flinched_.

“Oh god. I-... I didn't...” you try to apologize. You didn’t mean to scare him; you just wanted to be here for him. You don’t feel him trying to push you out anymore, and while you’re happy about that, you wished that you had used a different method to convince him to do that.

As you’re wallowing in your own shame, you catch onto the sounds coming from him. He’s mumbling something.

“Shame... Shame... Shame... Shame...” he repeats like a broken record, his voice breaking apart enough for the repressed psychosis to show through. Oh no, he's repeating things. It was never good when he repeated things.

“Hey, hey, hey!” You try to get his attention, help ground him. Your hands move closer out of the instinct to help, but you stop yourself from actually touching him, not sure if he wanted to be touched.

You swear he's... smaller...

Purple energy crackled around him, dancing around his body before shooting off randomly into the void, but it seemed to have an impact on the abyss, the space around you shifting and even tearing wherever the energy shot off, like it was ripping the void apart.

You felt yourself waking up again, but you don’t really sense that it was deliberate, or that he was trying to push you out; it was more like how you would normally wake up from a dream, except that it wasn’t because you were no longer tired, or because there was sunlight peeking through your window indicating morning causing your body to wake up, but rather due to a force unintentionally ripping your dream apart. It was almost like how you shoot up from a nightmare, but not because of you becoming so scared that your body wakes itself up; it was more like the dream itself was dissipating, becoming unstable. DG was undeliberately tearing the dream apart, or losing so much focus on maintaining his connection with you and your subconscious that the dream connecting you two was falling apart.

The energy didn’t seem to be deliberate either. It wasn’t shooting at you specifically, though you did have to dodge a few sparks. It didn’t seem to be shooting at anything in particular, just randomly shooting off into the void in all directions, like his body was instinctively trying to protect itself, but it couldn’t identify a specific threat.

You were waking up, and you had to do something. You tried to focus, focus on maintaining the void, focus on staying _here_. You wanted to be _here_. You wanted to be _here_ for _him_.

Luckily, your focusing and grounding worked, as the void seemed to repair itself and the world felt much more stable, more real. You return your focus back to DG.

"What's wrong? Please, tell me what's wrong," you plead with him. He was repeating the word ‘shame’ obsessively. Shame... He repeated ‘shame’ over and over when he regained his memories. It was that word that triggered his memories, triggered so much trauma it pulled memories lost by the literal reversal of _time_. He was having PTSD flash-backs.

You knew ever since you saw him regain his memories and a 'side of him he'd rather keep under wraps' that he had been much more traumatized by what the Demiurge did than he let show, and he had let it show quite a bit before. You had a feeling that regaining his memories the way he did might have set him back.

“Can I touch you? Hug you?” You weren’t sure if he would be uncomfortable with someone touching him right now. Sometimes people who were normally all cuddly didn’t want to be touched, especially after certain traumas. It was important to respect that, even though you wanted to help as fast as you possibly could.

DG twitches. He glances to the side at you. He’s still for a moment, save for the tremors that were already wracking his body, then nods his head unsteadily.

You would have preferred a verbal ‘yes’, but you don’t think he can talk right now.

Slowly, you lean forward and wrap your arms around him, your right arm reaching across his chest and your left across his back, both hands gripping his left shoulder. Hesitantly, you rest your head on his shoulder, ready to back off if he showed signs of being uncomfortable.

You feel him reach and grip your shoulder, frantically pressing your arms closer to himself, clinging to you for dear life.

He turns slightly into you, clinging to you as he continues to shake and sob. You hold him as he lets it out. A few minutes of this pass before DG suddenly stutters something out.

"D-don't tel-ll In-no-Innoce-ent...” he says shakily. He was having a mental breakdown and his main thought is not wanting Innocent to see him this way? Jeez. Although, it made some sense why DG didn’t want Innocent like this, and it wasn’t just because he wanted to protect his image or avoid a serious talk with Innocent; Innocent was there when the event occurred, and it had traumatized Innocent too, caused him to regress into a child-like state of mind; It probably wasn’t a good idea to bring that all up now. DG also only had to regain the traumatic memories because of amnesia caused by Innocent’s plot to derail the plan. Innocent might blame himself if he learned about this.

“I won’t,” you reassure DG. The hand that grips your shoulder flexes, moving to grab your shoulder more firmly.

“S-stay... p-please...” he begs.

“I will.” You grip him a little tighter to reassure him. You hold him in silence for a few moments before speaking again. “I don’t know what happened, and you don’t have to tell me, I don’t expect you to, but... please know that you can if you want to, and I’ll be here, no matter what. I’m here.”

DG nods his head slowly and presses himself a little farther against you, relaxing a little at your words and taking shelter in your arms. You’re here. You’re here for him.


End file.
